In today’s world of dating, you can be almost whoever you wanna be during the proverbial “courtship” phase. With online hookups becoming the most popular (only second to the good old fashioned chance meetings in real life), everyone has an opportunity to put their best foot forward.
You upload all these amazing pics…..Facetuned selfies, snapshots of those 3 times you worked out last year, pics of when you vacationed in Cancun…I mean anybody who scans your profile would be crazy not to pounce on a chance to get with you.
…And don’t even think about trying to fake it like we did back during the chatroom days of the mid 90s when the right A/S/L was assured to get you a steamy session in the infamous “WHISPER BOX”. Hell, we were catfishing before catfishing was a word. I was the copy/paste queen back then. I could be a perky petite blond on Monday and an athletically toned chocolate brown vixen by Friday. All you had to do was gauge the pulse of the room you were in. You could literally be EVERY WOMAN….(in my Whitney Houston voice)
But just like real world dating reality will eventually bite and with Skype, video cam and other bubble bursting technological advances the truth will come out…so it’s best to be straight up from day one and save yourself the BS.
……which brings me to the point of this post.
For those who don’t know I’m a TV series binger. There’s nothing more fulfilling for me than grabbing my favorite blanket, my Firestick remote and nestle comfortably on the couch for a day long session of my favorite shows. The newest kid on the block, in my plethora of favorites, is Insecure. It’s Issa Rae’s debut series, airing on HBO.
In one of the episodes, her BFF Molly, who’s luck with men inspired Issa’s impromptu open mic rap “Broken Pussy” (yeah…hunty…it’s that bad)…has seemingly met a guy that’s perfect…or as close to perfect as one can hope for these days.
After some hot steamy sex, they’re eating leftovers, basking in the afterglow, and having a little candid convo. Y’all know what I’m talking about. Those casual conversations you have where you’re listening to him, he’s listening to you and you’re just vibing….
He shares stories about his countless escapades (….and you’re either laying across his chest or propped up with your head resting on your cupped hand…and you’re mentally taking notes like a stenographer). This will either be filed in the shit to use against him later or things I swear to gawd I’ll never do folder!
You know not to share too much about your past love life because GIRL RULE #5 – men cannot fathom the idea that their potential girl has been with more than 5 previous sex partners. So you casually mention the first five you can remember and pray you don’t forget.
(THE REAL NUMBER IS BETWEEN YOU AND GAWD!!)
Well…back to Molly.
Her boo casually mentions that one time in college he hooked up with a guy and got some head!
….Wait….whet?
He keeps chomping on his cup of Ramen noodles like he didn’t just say what you know you heard him say. Meanwhile, life as you know it as come to a screeching freakin’ halt!!
Now…keep in mind…this is a great guy. Your dream guy, who makes it clear that he’s not gay and would never think of doing anything even remotely close to that again.
(Blank stare….side eye….clutch pearls…mouth drop)
Molly’s entire life has been handed to her in all of 30 seconds. She completely forgets about the fact that she told him, not 10 minutes ago, that she made out with another chick during college. Oooooh….no…but that’s different right. I mean that’s socially acceptable.
Girls making out with each other is totally cool. But knowing that your boo thang got Monica Lewinski’d by another guy!!!
Are you f**king kidding me!!!! Do you even have to ask!!!!!
I must admit the scene had me rethinking my own life. I mean it’s not like me and this guy are brand new. We’ve had sex at least 10 times and each time has been better than the last. But for a moment I had to ask myself how would feel if that type info was revealed to me by someone I was really feeling.
He’s been with a guy….once. And I’ve been with a girl…once. So, who’s right….who’s wrong….who’s gay…who’s not….
Soooo…. I polled a few folks. Every guy I asked had the same answer…
Dude is gay!!!!!! If a man allows another man to touch him, he’s gay…and don’t ask me that shit again!
On the other hand women had varying views. Some felt this automatically makes dude gay. Some didn’t see where there should be a problem and some weren’t sure what to think.
Keep in mind….hardly anyone gave a second thought to Molly’s admission of having experimented with another woman.
So where do you fall in this conundrum….
Is he gay? Was he gay? Does it matter? And why……
We’ll never know why Walter Scott decided to run from former South Carolina police officer Michael Slager. Maybe his delinquent child support payments had something to do with it. Or maybe he’s like many black men in America these days …..scared to fucking death when they’re involved in an encounter with the police.
Nubian Ayaba 